Problem: Loneliness and lack of confidence—how do I move forward?

 

Problem: Loneliness and lack of confidence—how do I move forward?

Name: Rahul Sen
Profession: Software Engineer
Country: India
City: Bengaluru

I am Rahul, a software engineer from Bengaluru. My life may look normal from the outside, but inside I feel a deep loneliness. I am doing well in my professional life, but in my personal life, I am increasingly consumed by a lack of confidence, social helplessness, and loneliness.

I used to be quite confident, but slowly I feel like I'm losing myself. I feel so scared to mingle with people, it feels like no one is interested in what I'm saying. The number of friends has decreased, I don't have the courage to make new friends.

How can I get out of this situation? How can I regain my confidence and feel comfortable in social life?

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Solution: Befriend yourself, and the world will accept you.

By Askly Help

Dear Rahul,

Your feelings are deep and real. In the hustle and bustle of modern life, loneliness and lack of confidence have become a part of many of our lives. You are not alone—many struggle with these feelings. But the good news is, it is possible to get out of this situation, and you can do it step by step!

Let's dig deeper into your problem and give you some advice that will be practical and impactful.

1. Understanding and accepting yourself

Many times we think that the cause of our loneliness is external circumstances or others. But the first step is to understand and accept ourselves.

• Write down your feelings – keep a diary every day. This will help you express your feelings and help you understand what is making you feel lonely.
• Don't blame yourself - loneliness or lack of confidence is not a failure. It's a phase of mental state that can be changed with time and effort.
• Forgive yourself – If you have any anger or frustration with yourself for something that happened in the past, let it go. The more you love yourself, the easier it will be to regain your confidence.

2. Increasing socialization step by step

Social skills don't come overnight, but small changes can have a big impact.

• Start small talk – exchange simple greetings with acquaintances at the store, cafe, or office. For example, "How are you?" or "How's the weather today?" These small conversations can make a big difference.
• Join a group or club – If you have a hobby (like reading, badminton, music), join a club related to that. Here you will find people with whom you can easily make friends.
• Keep trying, don't be afraid to hold back – It's normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable about social media. Things may go wrong at first, but don't let that stop you. The goal is to create a habit.

3. Simple strategies to build confidence

Confidence is not about thinking you are better than others, but about feeling valuable. To achieve this, you can develop some habits—

• Talk to yourself in front of the mirror every day – yes, it sounds strange, but it's very effective. Look into your own eyes and say: "I am good enough. I am confident. I understand people, and they will accept me."
• Practice body language – Try to develop the habit of standing up straight, making eye contact, and speaking slowly.
• Learn a new skill – Learning something new can boost your confidence, whether it's public speaking, a new language, or a hobby.

4. Focus on real life, not the virtual world

Many times we spend more time in the virtual world, but less time interacting with people in real life.

• Limit social media - spend time with real people instead of virtual ones.
• Meet up with friends in person – Don't just message, try to spend face-to-face time with friends or family.
• Spend time outside – Get outside for at least 30 minutes every day, try to interact with people.

5. Don't be afraid of loneliness, enjoy it.

Loneliness isn't always a bad thing. If you approach it positively, it can give you the opportunity to learn new things and connect with yourself.

• Doing something creative during your time alone – painting, listening to music, planning a trip, researching something – can make solitude enjoyable.
• Don't be discouraged by loneliness - it's a temporary state that can be gradually changed. The situation you're in now is not permanent.

Last words: Change will come, if you want it.

Dear Rahul,

Loneliness and lack of confidence can feel difficult, but it is possible to overcome it. The most important thing is to be kind to yourself and keep trying to change, step by step.

Be interested in people, be patient, improve your skills and you will see, you will slowly regain your confidence. Connect with society, but first love yourself.

You are not alone, and you can do this!

— Askly Help