Problem: I lost my identity due to the breakup of my relationship.
🎠Problem: I lost my identity due to the breakup of my relationship.
First person:
Name: Olivia Hart
Occupation: School teacher
Address: Brighton, United Kingdom
Olivia wrote:
I'm Olivia, a primary school teacher in Brighton, England. I recently broke up with my partner after six years. We weren't married, but we were together, had plans for the future, everything. Now, he's gone, and I feel like I'm a stranger.
The house, my daily routine, even my favorite songs—everything has his shadow. I don't understand who I am now. Was I just a part of his life? Where did my own identity go?
Honestly, being alone isn't hard, but breaking those habits—the ones that were built around him—is breaking me every day.
How can I find myself again?
✨ Askly Help's answer:
Even if your heart is broken, you are not broken—you are now on the path to healing.
Dear Olivia,
Love is as deep as its wounds. You are a teacher—you light a light in small souls every day. Yet now it seems as if your own heart has been extinguished. You are not alone, these feelings are very real, and very human.
1. Love may fade, but the habit remains.
Love is never limited to just one person—it involves everyday stories, small moments, a cup of coffee, a favorite movie, even sitting by the window watching the evening. So, when someone leaves, we don't just lose the person, we lose a rhythm of life.
So the hesitation, sadness, and self-identity crisis you are experiencing right now is very natural.
2. Moving from 'we' to 'I'—A Courageous Thing
You are not alone, you are becoming a new Olivia. This is a time to look back at yourself—what brings you joy, how you can love yourself, what you are grateful for in life.
With a cup of tea in hand, one morning you might suddenly feel again—"I've come a long way."
3. Give yourself time—there's no need to rush.
Just as the mind breaks, the mind can mend itself—it just takes time. You build new habits little by little every day, give space to old memories, but in that space, you put yourself first.
4. A relationship breakup doesn't mean you're a failure.
The end of love does not mean that life stops. Rather, it is a change that can open the door to new opportunities. You may love again, trust again. Before that, you have to learn to love yourself again.
5. Your identity is not tied to one relationship.
Your identity is that of a teacher, a woman, a dreamer. Your identity was not that—you are, were, and will be.
A piece of hope:
Dear Olivia,
your heart is crying now, but it will sing right inside that crying. You are brave, you are gentle, and most importantly—you still know how to question life.
A person who knows how to ask questions can one day find their own answers.
Your journey has not ended—it has just begun anew.
Stay well, love yourself.