Problem: Family pressure for marriage, but lack of self-preparation
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Problem: Family pressure for marriage, but lack of self-preparation
Name: Arifa Ibrahim
Profession: Teacher
Country: Egypt
City: Cairo
Arifa is a 30-year-old school teacher. She loves her job, enjoys her freedom, and doesn't feel quite ready for marriage yet. But her family is constantly pressuring her to get married. Her parents want her to get married quickly because of society and relatives, but Arifa wants to accept her life partner from the heart and make a decision at the right time. She is in a mental conflict—she will regret going against her family's wishes, but she doesn't want to give up her dreams and life like this.
Arifa wants to know how she can express her opinions without hurting her family and make the right decision for herself?
Solution: Make your own life decisions, but also maintain the honor of your family.
By Askly Help
Dear Arif,
Your problem is very real and it happens to many women, not just you. Family is the closest people to us, but sometimes they see life from a different perspective than we do. They love you, so they care about your future, but that doesn't mean you have to make decisions against your will.
1. Give yourself time and try to understand.
Do you really have no interest in marriage, or are you just feeling pressured? Ask yourself—do you want to get married in the future? If so, what kind of partner do you want? If you're not ready for marriage right now, why? It's important to be clear about these answers to yourself.
2. Understand the family's perspective
There can be many reasons behind family pressure:
- They are concerned about your loneliness.
- They are thinking about society.
- They think that if time is too short, it will be difficult to get a good offer.
Try to understand their perspective without completely ignoring it. This will allow you to talk to them tactfully.
3. Express your opinion calmly and firmly.
When expressing your opinion, speak calmly, without getting emotional or angry.
- "I know you wish me well, but I don't think my time has come yet."
- “I want to spend my life with someone I can truly accept, and I need to give myself some time for that.”
- "If you give me a little freedom, I can make the right decisions myself."
By saying it this way, they will understand that you are not just saying no, but are making a thoughtful decision.
4. Find a way to reconcile the family
Sometimes it's hard for family to say it directly. You can tell them, "I agree, but I want it to be the right person and I have time." If you ask your family to be patient, they may be more accepting.
5. Enrich your life.
If your family sees that you are not just giving reasons not to get married, but are building your own life, they will start to respect you.
- Advance your career further.
- Focus on learning new skills.
- Become mentally and physically strong.
6. Be confident and don't give in to pressure.
If you are not really ready, then you will make your life difficult by forcing yourself to get married because of your family. Remember, this is your life. No one else is going to come and save it—you have to decide.
7. Be patient and maintain love.
Your family may be upset at first, they may not want to understand you, but be patient. One day they will understand that you only want to make the best decision for yourself.
Arifa, you are a self-reliant woman, and you have every right to make decisions about your own life. If you talk to your family with love and respect, they will gradually understand you. You are not alone—we are all here with you.
Love and best wishes,
Askly Help