Name: David Moore Occupation: Software Engineer Country and city: New York, United States
- Name: David Moore
- Occupation: Software Engineer
- Country and city: New York, United States
Problem:
I am a 34-year-old software engineer, fairly successful in my career. But my personal life has become quite complicated. A few years ago, my long-term relationship broke up because I was so busy with my career that I couldn't devote enough time to my personal relationship.
Recently, I've been attracted to someone again, but there's a kind of fear at work inside—what if I make the same mistake again? Am I really ready for a relationship? Or is my life better suited to being alone?
How do I know if I should prioritize this relationship or take the time to get to know myself better?
Askly Help's advice:
Love and Loneliness: Finding the Way to Your Heart
David, your feelings are completely normal and human. We all experience uncertainty about life and relationships, especially when we have experienced pain or disappointment in the past. But remember, you are not alone—many people feel the same way you do.
1. Learn from the past, but don't get stuck.
Your previous relationship broke up, but that's not your failure. Rather, it's an experience from which you have an opportunity to learn. What did you do wrong? Did you pay less attention to your partner due to work pressure? If you understand that, you will have the opportunity to make changes from now on.
2. Are you really ready for a new relationship?
Ask yourself—is this relationship truly what your heart desires, or is it a result of feelings of loneliness? If loneliness is pushing you away, it might be better to spend some more time with yourself. But if you really feel for someone, then you can slowly move towards a relationship.
3. Find the right balance
A successful career and a loving relationship can both coexist if you strike the right balance. Can you carve out some time each week to just focus on your relationship? Small steps can make a relationship stronger.
4. Take fear as a path to victory
Sometimes our fears can actually be our biggest obstacle. If you don't want to repeat past mistakes, you can consciously prevent them.
5. Give yourself time, let your partner understand too
If your new crush truly understands you, they will give you time. The most important thing in a relationship is understanding and patience.
Last words
Life is a journey of learning and growing. It's normal to have doubts about relationships, but everything can be easier if you follow the right path. Listen to your heart, take your decisions slowly, and try to find balance in everything.
Good luck to you!