Loneliness and the struggle to find new friends
Problem: Loneliness and the struggle to find new friends
- Name: Emily Watson
- Occupation: Graphic Designer
- Country and city: New York, United States
Problem:
I'm Emily, a 32-year-old graphic designer. My life has changed a lot in the past year—I've moved to a new city, I've got a new job. Professionally, everything is going well, but in my personal life, I feel very lonely.
New York is a big city, but I still feel lonely. My colleagues at work are nice, but I don't talk much outside of work. I can't make new friends, I don't develop deep relationships with anyone. Sometimes I feel like no one really understands me.
How can I overcome this loneliness? What should I do to make new friends?
Askly Help's advice:
From loneliness to friendship: practical ways to build new relationships
Emily, your feelings are very natural. Loneliness is not just your problem—many people experience it these days, especially when they move to a new city or new living situation. But I want to reassure you—you are not alone, and this situation can be changed.
1. Make new connections through your interests and hobbies
We usually make friends more easily with people we have in common with, so focus on your hobbies and interests.
- If you love reading, join a local book club.
- If you like photography or art, go to a workshop or exhibition.
- If you want to exercise, join a gym or yoga class.
It's easier to talk to people in such places because everyone has similar interests.
2. Start small talk.
We often think that we have to take big steps to build friendships, but friendships actually start with small conversations.
- Try to talk a little more with your colleagues at the office.
- Smile and say "hi" when you see someone at the coffee shop.
- Start small conversations at the supermarket or in the park.
It may not lead to deep friendships with everyone, but it will create connections with people, which will reduce loneliness.
3. Use social media and local communities
Use social media and local event platforms to find friends in today's digital age.
- Go to Meetup.com and check out groups in your city where people are looking to make new friends.
- Talk about your favorite topics in Facebook Groups or Reddit Communities .
- Volunteer work or give time to a charity - not only will you do good work, but you will also meet good people.
4. Prepare yourself—friendship takes time.
It takes time to build new friendships. No one becomes a deep friend overnight. So be patient and keep trying.
- If you have a good understanding with someone, then talk to them yourself, send messages.
- Don't always wait for someone else to come forward first—show interest yourself.
5. Value yourself and stay positive.
When loneliness is chronic, it can feel like, "Maybe I'm not worthy" or "No one wants to be friends with me"—but these thoughts are not true.
To build friendships, you need to be confident. Love yourself, appreciate your qualities, and move forward with a positive attitude. When you are positive about yourself, others are also attracted to you.
Last words
Emily, you're new to town, so it'll take some time, but there are many people just like you who are looking for new friends. If you put in the effort and be patient, you'll slowly build a deeper connection.
Loneliness is not permanent—just a little initiative from you can make a difference in your life.
Good luck!