Friedrich, a 35-year-old software engineer living in Berlin, Germany, feels lonely and has trouble forming real relationships despite being busy in the world of technology.
The problem in a nutshell:
Friedrich, a 35-year-old software engineer living in Berlin, Germany, feels lonely and has trouble forming real relationships despite being busy in the world of technology.
Detailed problems and solutions:
Lost in Technology: Frederick's Story of Loneliness
Frederick's life is limited to technology and code. He spends most of his days immersed in his laptop screen, building new software, and chasing deadlines. He is efficient and appreciated at work, but when he returns to his apartment at the end of the day, loneliness surrounds him like an invisible wall.
According to Frederick, despite his professional success, there is a clear lack of connection in his personal life. Colleagues are all busy, old friends have gradually drifted away, and it has become difficult for him to form new relationships. He feels that in this age of digital communication, real connections are becoming increasingly rare.
Askly Help's solution: A path to overcoming loneliness and building true connection
Frederick, your feelings are completely normal. We're all so immersed in the digital world these days that real-life relationships often get lost. But the good news is, there are ways to overcome loneliness—and it's not just about finding others, but also by reorganizing your own life.
1. Spend time away from technology ("Digital Detox")
What's the first thing you do when you wake up every day? You probably pick up your phone and check social media, check your email, or scroll through the news. This habit can increase your loneliness.
✅ Work: Set aside at least 1 hour of technology-free time every day. During this time, take a walk outside, see the beauty of nature, or read a book.
2. Go back to old hobbies, learn something new.
Many times, loneliness comes not only from a lack of physical presence, but also from an emptiness of mind.
✅ Work: Rediscover the things you enjoyed as a child. Maybe you loved drawing, or riding a bike. Learning something new can also be a great way to do it—like photography, cooking, or playing a new musical instrument.
These will not only keep your mind busy, but will also give you the opportunity to meet new people.
3. Develop the habit of talking to real people
Many people these days feel comfortable talking through virtual messages, but face-to-face conversations are most effective at building deeper connections.
✅ Tasks:
- Try to talk to at least one new person every day—the employee at the tea shop, a colleague at the office, or someone at the gym.
- Start making small talk, like: “The weather is nice today, isn’t it?”
It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it will gradually become easier.
4. Join a new community
It's important to engage in real-life communities instead of just being online.
✅ Tasks:
- Join a local group—a book club, a running club, or a volunteer organization.
- Join a language learning group, where you can learn about a new culture and make new friends.
5. Increase the quality of relationships, not the number.
It's not true that having lots of friends will reduce loneliness. Rather, you'll feel happier if you have some deep and meaningful relationships.
✅ Tasks:
- Reach out to friends you haven't spoken to in a while. Maybe an old friend is feeling the same loneliness as you.
- Spend more time with those who truly care about you.
6. Focus on self-development
Sometimes loneliness is actually caused by distance from yourself. Know yourself, pay attention to your emotions.
✅ Tasks:
- Spend five minutes every day writing about your feelings—what felt good, what felt bad.
- Develop some habits like meditation or yoga, which will give you mental peace.
7. Be patient in building relationships.
It takes time to build any deep relationship. When you're looking for friends, you might suddenly feel like, "Everyone's busy, no one's thinking about me." But the truth is, everyone feels that way at some point.
✅ Tasks:
- Be patient. If you don't like someone the first time, give them a second chance.
- Wait until a friendship or relationship develops, don't force it.
Last words: Your story is not yet written.
Frederick, you are not alone. Many people feel the same way you do, and the good news is that it is possible to change this situation. Loneliness is just a feeling, it is not your identity.
If you slowly open yourself up, take time away from technology, have new experiences, and focus on building relationships—you'll eventually find that you're not alone anymore.
You can do it! Just take the first step.
Best wishes,
Askly Help