I am Sara binte Farooq, a university student. Under the pressure of overwhelming expectations from family and society, I am losing my desires and dreams, and I don't know how to build a life of my own.
Name: Sara Binte Farooq
Occupation: University student
Country: Bangladesh
City: Dhaka
I am Sara binte Farooq, a university student. Under the pressure of overwhelming expectations from family and society, I am losing my desires and dreams, and I don't know how to build a life of my own.
Everyone has something to say about my life—
- My family wants me to become a doctor.
- Relatives say that life is useless if you don't get a government job.
- Some of my friends say that marriage is more important than career.
But what do I want? To be honest, I don't even know anymore.
I loved writing as a child, but could that be a career? I might want to do something else, but family expectations have kept me stuck in one place.
How do I save my dream? Or should I forget my own choices and try to please everyone?
Solution:
Dear Sarah,
The feelings you are going through are not unique to you. In our society, family expectations, social pressures—these control our lives in such a way that sometimes we lose sight of our own wants and needs.
But the only way to be happy is to find your own path, and that's not by going against anyone, but by creating a beautiful balance for yourself.
1. Learn to prioritize what you want.
We often make the mistake of thinking, "My dream is small, it won't accomplish anything!" But the truth is—any dream, if you work hard at it, will open the door to success.
If you love writing, don't just see it as a "hobby," but think about how you can turn it into a career. Is writing just about writing novels? No, it can be blogging, content writing, journalism—it can be so much more!
2. Communicate with your family, don't fight.
Family expectations don't mean they are against you. What they say is because they want security. They want to see a good future for you.
But if you kill your will just by listening to them, you will regret it one day.
- Talk openly with your family, tell them what you want.
- If they are afraid, show them that it is possible to turn your passion into a career.
- At first they won't accept it, but if you are firm, they will gradually start to accept it.
3. Create a "safe space" for yourself.
If the expectations around you are stifling you, create a space for yourself where you can think freely.
- Spend at least 30 minutes every day doing something for yourself—writing, learning something new, doing something just for yourself.
- Try to know yourself, what are you good at? Where are your strengths?
- Find some people among your friends who will support your dreams.
4. Think Alternatives—Match Reality with What You Want
Let's say you love writing, but your family wants you to work in a government job. Is there anything you can do that combines the two?
- Maybe you can continue writing alongside your government job.
- Maybe you could try doing something part-time first.
Life is not black and white, there are many colors. Find a balance for yourself.
5. Be kind to yourself.
You can't fix everything in one day. But if you do a little something for yourself every day, you'll find that you've found your way.
Everyone's expectations will be on you, but if you stay true to yourself, you will see that what you love will one day become your life.
Last words:
Sara, you are not just someone's daughter, someone's student, someone's future—you are an individual person with your own dreams.
If you can't find your own way, someone else will fix your life for you. But if you create your own space little by little, one day everyone will understand - you were right.
You can, just start taking small steps for yourself today.
Best wishes,
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