I can't balance my work and personal life, everything seems to be falling apart.
Problem:
I can't balance my work and personal life, everything seems to be falling apart.
Work-life balance: Am I really happy?
Adrian Carlsson, 29, software engineer, Stockholm, Sweden
I am Adrian, a software engineer by profession. My career is going well, but my personal life is almost non-existent. From morning to night, I spend my days coding, meeting, and meeting deadlines. Even after finishing my office work, I feel like there is still something left to do, like checking emails, learning new technologies. As a result, I am unable to spend time with friends, family, or even myself.
When you're under so much pressure, sometimes you wonder, "Am I just living for work?" In this busy life, I want to do something for myself, but I don't know where to start.
How can I enjoy my personal life while still being responsible for my work?
Askly Help's compassionate solution
Dear Adrian,
Your problem is very common in today's world, especially for people working in technology. But that doesn't mean it's impossible to get out of this mess.
1. "Success" is not just about work.
We often think that success is just about getting ahead in our careers. But if we are not happy in our personal lives, what is the real value of that success? Work is an important part of our lives, but if it becomes our entire life, then our chances of finding happiness are reduced.
2. Plan your time properly
The most important thing is to create a specific routine. Here are some simple steps you can follow:
✅ Set work hours: Work until a specific time every day. Accept that when the office is closed, work is over.
✅ Create a "No Work Zone": Designate a period of time in the evening or during the week as a completely work-free time.
✅ Use the "Deep Work" method to increase productivity: Instead of working for a long time, focus on working for 25-30 minutes, then take a short break.
3. Make small changes.
Trying to make big changes right at the beginning is more likely to fail. So make small changes first:
- Set aside at least 30 minutes for yourself every day (reading a book, taking a walk, or doing any hobby).
- Plan to spend time with friends or family at least one day a week.
- By reducing your work hours, you can learn something new, which brings you joy.
4. Learn to say "no"
Many times we take on unnecessary tasks, which waste our personal time. It is not necessary to always say "yes" in the office or in front of clients. Sometimes saying "no" is the best decision.
5. Control technology, don't be controlled by it
Checking work emails all day, sending messages to office groups destroys our mental peace. Try:
❌ Not checking your phone after 10pm.
❌ Closing office emails on weekends.
✔ Not checking social media or emails for the first hour after waking up in the morning.
6. Do something for yourself.
You need to find ways to keep yourself happy even in the midst of a busy life. Maybe a new hobby, travel, or meditation can bring you peace of mind. Make your own happiness a priority, because only when you are well, you can do your job well.
7. Finding balance is the real challenge in life.
Life will never be perfect, but with the right planning, you can find a balance between work and personal life. Make changes slowly, and the chaos will gradually disappear.
Adrian, life isn't just about work—it's also about enjoyment. So be kind to yourself, and start finding balance right now!
Best wishes,
Askly Help