"I want to get married, but my family doesn't accept my choice. What should I do?"
Problem:
"I want to get married, but my family doesn't accept my choice. What should I do?"
I want to marry the person I love, but my family doesn't agree - what should I do?
Sender: Adnan Farooq | Software Engineer | Lahore, Pakistan
Should I accept my family's advice, or choose my own love?
Adnan Farooq is a 28-year-old software engineer. He has been in love with a girl for a few years and wants to make her his life partner. She loves him too, and they want to build a happy future together.
But the problem is, Adnan's family doesn't want to accept this relationship. They say, "We can't ruin the family's honor" , "We will arrange a marriage for you somewhere else" or "You can't go against our decision" .
Adnan is now in a dilemma. Will he listen to his family and give up his love? Or will he stick to his decision?
Family vs. Love—What Should You Decide?
1. First understand the reason for the family's objection.
Many times we feel like our family is not giving us freedom, but in fact they may have some real fears.
✅ Suggestions:
- What is the root cause of family objections? Religion, culture, family status, financial differences, or just habitual thinking?
- Listen to their arguments and respond sensitively.
- Instead of directly opposing them, try to gradually change their perspective.
2. Try to explain with logic and reality.
If you want to prove the importance of relationships to your family, use logic, not emotion.
✅ Suggestions:
- Explain how the relationship will have a positive impact.
- Highlight the qualities of the person you love so that the family will be interested in accepting them.
- If possible, bring a close family member (who understands you) along as a helper.
3. Give time, but also make your position clear.
It may take time for the family to change their mind. No final decision should be made suddenly.
✅ Suggestions:
- Avoid direct confrontation, but patiently explain your decision.
- If the family absolutely disagrees, discuss with them openly why you have made this decision.
- Give them some time to understand their family's reaction to the relationship.
4. Think about the future before making a final decision.
If your family doesn't agree in any way, you may have to make a difficult decision—will you go against your family and follow your own path of love, or will you leave the relationship?
✅ Suggestions:
- If you're thinking about leaving a relationship, ask yourself: "Will I be happy with this decision for the rest of my life?"
- If you choose the person you love, then know that for this you may have to accept the anger and dissatisfaction of some people in your family and society.
- Also consider whether it is possible to maintain relationships with family in the future.
Last words
Adnan, it is difficult to maintain a balance between love and family. But remember, the decision is yours to make. If you are confident that your love is right and he is the right person for you, then try to convince your family with patience. Give it time, but don't ignore your own feelings either.
Have you ever faced such a situation? Share your experience with us!