Problem: Have I really lost love?
Problem: Have I really lost love?
Name: Emily Watson
Profession: Teacher
Country: United Kingdom
City: London
I'm Emily, 29, I live in London and I teach at a school. I was in a relationship for five years, but six months ago it all fell apart. My ex-partner and I had dreams of a future together, but things slowly started to change. The relationship was filled with fatigue, distance, misunderstandings, and eventually he left.
I thought that with time everything would be fine. But I still feel like I'm stuck in that relationship. On the outside I may act normal—working, seeing friends, trying to get on with my life. But on the inside I feel empty.
The hardest thing is that now I have lost faith in love. I don't know if I will ever trust anyone again. I don't know if true love is even possible for me. How can I get out of this emptiness? How can I learn to trust again?
Solution: A story of rebirth from heartbreak
By Askly Help
Dear Emily,
I understand your pain. The pain of losing love is like a kind of grief—it's not just the end of a relationship, but also the end of hopes, dreams, and habits. It's a feeling that sometimes distances us from ourselves.
But I want to reassure you—you are not alone. Many people go through this at some point in their lives, and come out of it. You can, just give yourself time. Let's see how you can get out of this difficult time.
1. Don't deny suffering—feel it.
You might think, "The sooner we forget, the better." But in reality, our hearts don't work that way. Suppressing pain only deepens it.
If you still want to cry, cry. If old memories come to mind, there's no need to force them away. Just remind yourself—these feelings are normal, and they will change eventually.
Keeping a journal can help. Write down your feelings in it—without any filters. This will help you clarify your inner thoughts, and you will gradually begin to let go of them.
2. Don't blame yourself—both parties have a role in the relationship.
Many times, when a relationship breaks down, we think, "If only I had done things differently, maybe everything would have been okay." But the relationship equation is never one-sided.
If you keep blaming yourself, the pain will never go away. Instead, see it as a learning opportunity—
- What did you learn from this relationship?
- What was something you would like to handle better in the future?
- What things are important to you that you need to take care of next?
As you seek answers to these questions, you will realize that losing doesn't mean it's the end. Rather, it's a chapter for you to learn something new and make yourself stronger for the future.
3. Love is not just about romance—it can also be given to yourself.
We often think that love is just about finding another person. But true love is about loving yourself first.
The most important thing for you now is to take care of yourself.
- Do something you enjoy—something that brings you joy.
- Learn something new—maybe cooking, painting, or a dance class.
- Take care of your body—go for a walk, exercise, eat good food.
Eventually, you will find that you can gradually become happy with yourself. And this is the foundation of the love that can be shared with others in the future.
4. Meet new people—but on your own time.
Many people say, "If you want to forget, find someone new." But the reality is, if you go into a new relationship with your emptiness, it may bring the same pain.
So there's nothing wrong with meeting new people, but only do it when you're truly ready. Not just for love, but to make new friends, have new experiences, go to new places.
Gradually, you may find someone with whom you feel natural and enjoyable to spend time—not forced or afraid, but spontaneous.
5. Trust will come back—losing it once is not the end of it.
You said you lost faith in love. I understand why. But the truth is—every relationship in our lives is a unique experience.
One bad experience doesn't mean everything will be the same in the future. But you have to give yourself time to understand this. Trust will come back—slowly, in small steps.
You just tell yourself—"I am worthy of love, and one day I will find someone who will truly love me. But before that, I will love myself."
Last words: You can love again, with time...
Dear Emily,
Right now, your heart may be saying, "I'll never be able to love again." But believe me, with time, this feeling will change. You will find happiness within yourself again, love life in a new way. And one day, maybe you'll find someone with whom your relationship will be deeper, more beautiful—because then you'll learn to love yourself too.
Pain will come with time, but time will take it away. And you? You will learn to walk in a new way under the new sun.
Best wishes!
— Askly Help