Problem: Is technology distancing me from people?

 

Problem: Is technology distancing me from people?

Name: Andrew Coleman
Occupation: Software Engineer
Country: United States
City: San Francisco

I'm Andrew, a 35-year-old software engineer. I live in San Francisco, work in the heart of the tech world, and my life revolves around computer screens, coding, and technology.

Technology is both my passion and my profession. I do what I love, and I'm proud of it. But I've noticed a strange thing—my deep attachment to technology seems to be cutting me off from real-life connections.

I feel more comfortable in online communities than hanging out with friends. Even when I'm at the dinner table with my family, I find myself staring at my mobile screen. Relationships seem to be slowly fading. I sometimes can't remember the last time I had a deep and heartfelt conversation with someone.

Am I really becoming lonely because of technology? Am I slowly drifting away from people? How can I find a balance where technology enhances my life, but doesn't take the place of my relationships?

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Solution: Ways to bring people closer even amidst technology

By Askly Help

Dear Andrew,

Your question highlights a very important reality of our time. Technology has given us incredible opportunities, but at the same time it can also disconnect us from real life if we are not aware of it.

You're not alone. Many people are struggling with this dilemma these days—not knowing how to balance their digital lives with their real lives. But the good news is, you've already recognized the problem. And that's the first step to change. Let's see how you can regain balance.

1. Is technology making you lonely, or are you hiding in technology?

An important question is—is technology really pushing you away, or are you subconsciously using technology as a safe haven?

We often hide behind screens to avoid the complexities of real life, social uncertainty, or emotional discomfort. If this is happening to you, ask yourself—

• Are you resorting to technology to avoid social interaction?
• Do you find the virtual world easier than real-life relationships?
• Have you lost the habit of spending time away from technology?

Only by finding the answers to these questions will you be able to know the root cause of your problem.

2. Make connections off the screen—slowly, but consciously

You don't need to give up technology and move to a hill village overnight. Instead, you can create balance in small steps.

• Schedule "screen-free" time: Spend at least an hour a day away from technology. Maybe it's by going for a morning walk, reading a book, or engaging in a hands-on hobby.
• Digital Detox Day: At least one day a week, turn off your phone and laptop for an hour or two. Save this time for real-life people only.
• Mindful Communication: The next time you're with family or friends, try putting your phone aside and giving them your full attention.

3. See technology as a friend, not an enemy—use it consciously.

Technology is not bad, it's how it's used that matters. If you use it just for entertainment, it will take up your time. But if you use it to connect with people, it will enrich your life.

• Instead of virtual gaming or chatting with friends, plan to go somewhere together.
• Use your phone less when spending time with your family.
• Use social media to enhance real-life connections, not to destroy them.

4. Create a new habit—find joy outside of the screen

When we are immersed in technology, we distance ourselves from the joys of real life. So try to consciously develop new habits.

• Go outside: Spend time in nature, go for a walk, discover something new.
• Learn a new skill: Maybe you can try cooking, photography, or a sport.
• Meet people: Face-to-face meetings always create deeper connections than virtual chats.

5. Restore social connections—slowly, but wholeheartedly

You said you don't have deep conversations anymore. It takes a conscious effort to change this situation.

• Call a friend, don't text.
• Talk to your family, put your phone away at the dinner table.
• Share not just work-related things with your colleagues, but also personal things.

It may feel uncomfortable at first, but gradually it will become normal for you.

Bottom line: balance is key.

Dear Andrew,

It's natural that you love technology. But if technology takes you away from your loved ones, then that becomes a problem.

So the solution is a conscious balance — enjoy technology, but don't let it take over your life. You can gradually make small changes so that you can reconnect with real life.

You can, I'm sure. Just take the first step today—call someone, take your eyes off the screen, listen to them, and experience how beautiful a real connection can be.

Good luck!

— Askly Help