Problem: My dreams vs. family expectations—what should I do?

 

Problem: My dreams vs. family expectations—what should I do?

Name: Rahul Basu
Occupation: University Student (Engineering)
Country: India
City: Kolkata

I am Rahul, an engineering student from a Bengali family in Kolkata. My family wanted me to be a successful engineer since I was a child, so I am studying engineering to fulfill their dream. But to be honest, my dream is something else—I want to be a writer.

When I write poetry, stories, I feel like I'm the real me. But my family never sees writing as a "right career." They want me to get a good job, to be socially established. I understand that they love me, and are worried about my future. But if I give up on my dream, won't I regret it for the rest of my life?

What should I do? Should I fulfill my family's dreams, or choose my own path? If I go my own way, how can I do it so that my family doesn't suffer too?

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Solution: Love your dreams, but don't forget your responsibilities.

By Askly Help

Dear Rahul,

Your problem is very common, but deep. It's very common in our society for family expectations and personal dreams to clash. Especially in Asian families, where "success" usually means a stable job, respect, and security. But if you ignore your true passion, you may go on to a certain life, but your soul will remain empty.

So what should be done?

We won't jump to any conclusions. Instead, we'll look at step-by-step how you can follow your dreams, but at the same time reassure your family.

1. Try to understand the family's perspective.

Your parents love you, and they are concerned about your safety. They grew up in a society where financial security is the key to life. They are afraid that if you pursue writing, you may not find stability in life.

That's why it's important to understand and respect their perspective first. When you talk to them, try to make them understand that you're not just lost in a fantasy world, but that you're dreaming with reality in mind.

2. Gradually prove that writing can be not just a hobby, but also a career.

If you go to your family right now and say, "I want to quit engineering and become a writer," they'll be horrified. So you have to act wisely.

• Start earning through writing: In today's era, it is possible to earn through freelance writing, blogging, script writing. If you can show that you are earning some money by writing, then your family will not see it as just a hobby.
• Achieve small successes: If your story or poem is published somewhere, share it with your family. If you win a competition, show it to them. This will increase the importance of your writing in their eyes.
• Have a backup plan: If you take an engineering job while building your writing career, it will boost your confidence and also comfort your family.

3. Be open about your feelings with your family, but be patient.

Many times we think, "My family won't understand me." But the truth is, they might be willing to listen to you if you can explain it properly.

• Talk to them openly, but be patient.
• Respect their fears and anxieties, but don't take your own dreams lightly.
• Try to prove that you are not making decisions based solely on emotions.

If you talk to them step by step, their perspective will gradually start to change.

4. Try to advance both paths together.

You may not need to give up engineering right away. If you continue to practice writing, you will be able to decide after a while which is more important to you.

• Continue writing alongside your office or academic work.
• Make time for yourself on weekends.
• Set a challenge for a specific time frame—like, "How much can I earn from writing in the next two years?"

By doing this, you will be able to see which aspects are really effective for you.

5. If you really want to be a writer, be bold—but plan.

Fulfilling your family's dreams is important, but if you're not happy with your own life, what kind of life would that be?

If you are once convinced that writing is your true destiny, then you have to be brave about it. But not foolishly—by planning.

• Study the lives of successful writers, how did they build their careers?
• Make a specific plan, how you will lead your life, and ensure financial security.
• Explain to your family that you are not going to be unemployed, but rather that you are creating a path to your own dreams.

Final words: Dreams can be fulfilled even through compromise

Dear Rahul,

Family vs. your dreams—it's not a war, it's a matter of compromise. Your family loves you, so they want you to be safe. But if you're truly committed to your dreams, you can convince them that writing is not just a hobby, but your future.

Go slowly, prove your skills, and eventually your family will stand by you. Fulfilling your dreams doesn't mean going against your family, but moving forward in a way that fulfills your dreams and makes your family proud.

You can do it, I believe!

Good luck!

— Askly Help