Problem: Repeated failures in love relationships are making me depressed.
Name: Emily Thompson
Occupation: Teacher
Location: London, United Kingdom
I'm Emily, 32 years old. Everything in my life is going pretty well. I have a good job, some good friends, but I'm failing repeatedly in love.
I've been in a few relationships, but none of them have lasted. At first, it seems like everything is fine, we're interested in each other, but after a while, distance builds. Someone loses touch, someone finds someone new, and I'm left alone.
I know that relationships take time, understanding, and patience. But when this happens over and over again, I wonder—is the problem with me? Am I doing something wrong? Or am I just not finding the right person?
I feel so frustrated about this that sometimes I think maybe love isn't for me. I really want a partner, but how can I be sure that this person is the right one? And if I don't find one, will I have to spend the rest of my life alone?
— Emily Thompson, London
Solution: Askly Help's sincere advice
Dear Emily,
Your feelings are very natural. Love relationships are complicated, and when you fail repeatedly, it's natural to lose confidence. But I want you to be kind to yourself. Because love is not just about success, it's also a journey of learning.
1. Is the problem really with you?
We often think, "Maybe there's something wrong with me," but relationships are a two-way street. If you're honestly trying but can't maintain a connection, then the problem may not just be you, but the people you're in a relationship with may also be in some sort of incompatibility.
This doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It just means you haven't found someone with whom you can truly connect emotionally.
2. Do you like the same type of people over and over again?
Many times, we unknowingly become attracted to people who are not right for us.
- Are there any similarities between your relationships?
- Why did they end?
- Are you looking for someone who has certain qualities, but is that becoming a problem?
Try to think about what you really need—not just attraction, but how important an emotional connection with a partner is.
3. Are you putting too much pressure on the relationship?
When we start a relationship with too many expectations, it often becomes stressful. Relationships take time to develop, and what's important is that there's a natural connection between two people.
- Let the new relationship start as a friendship.
- Don't try to prove yourself, just be natural.
- Give space in the relationship so that understanding can develop.
4. Are you afraid of being alone?
It is important to understand that being in love is good, but being alone is not a bad thing.
- Many people stay in the wrong relationship simply because they are afraid of loneliness.
- If you learn to love being alone, you won't need to compromise in relationships.
- If you know your worth, the right person won't want to lose you.
5. Does the right person really exist?
Yes, there is. But you have to be patient to find him. Love is not like a shopping list, where you can find the perfect person. It is a process, where two people grow together, understand each other.
Some tips for finding the right people:
- Know yourself: Understand what you want.
- Be open: Give new people a chance to get to know you.
- Look in the right places: Maybe your current circle isn't enough for you. Go into new environments, get new experiences.
- Take your time: Love doesn't happen overnight, understanding develops gradually.
Last words
Emily, I understand your frustration, but you're not on the wrong path. Every failed relationship has taught you something new, which prepares you for the right relationship.
So don't be afraid of being alone, don't diminish your worth while searching for love. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and trust that the right person will come into your life one day.
Best wishes,
— Askly Help