Problem: I started a new life abroad, but I can't overcome the loneliness and stress.

Adapting to a new country: How to overcome loneliness and challenges?

Daniel Ross, 28, software engineer, Amsterdam, Netherlands

I'm Daniel, a software engineer by profession. Born and raised in London, but moved to Amsterdam a few months ago for work. The opportunities here are good, my career is progressing, but I'm not feeling very well mentally.

Loneliness is eating away at me after coming to a new country. I don't see my old friends, my family is far away. Even though I'm busy at work, I feel lonely in my personal life. Language barriers, cultural differences - all these things make it difficult to make friends with the locals.

I don't feel like going anywhere on the weekends because I have no one to keep me company. I'm starting to feel like I made the wrong decision. I came abroad with dreams of a new life, but now I can't seem to adapt. What should I do to overcome this loneliness?

Askly Help's compassionate solution

Dear Daniel,

Adjusting to a new country is not easy, especially when you have left your familiar surroundings. The feelings you are going through are very normal. Many expats face this challenge. But the good news is, it is a temporary phase. If you take some steps, this place will gradually become your home.

Let's see how you can handle this situation.

1. Be patient—it will get easier with time.

It takes time to adjust to a new culture. The first few months may be difficult, but you will get used to it over time. Give yourself time, take it step by step.

2. Make new friends (don't be alone!)

Lack of friends increases loneliness, so try to meet new people as soon as possible. You can meet new people in a few ways—

Join meetup events: Find local meetup groups related to your favorite topics (trekking, photography, book clubs).
Spend time with colleagues: Hang out with them on lunch breaks or weekends.
Learn the local language: Improving your language skills makes it easier to connect with new people.
Volunteer: Getting involved in social work allows you to get to know a new community.

3. Create a routine for yourself

The biggest problem when living in a new country is the uncertain lifestyle. If you create a daily routine, you will feel less lonely. Do some specific things every day—

Go for a walk in the morning.
Join the gym or yoga.
Make time for coffee or a movie for yourself.

4. Virtual connections are also important

Don't lose touch with family and old friends. Talk to them regularly on the phone or video call. Old friends can be your strength, especially when you're feeling down.

5. Get to know the city on your own.

A city is not just streets and buildings—it's a place of experiences and relationships. The more you get to know Amsterdam, the more it will welcome you. Explore new places, try new foods, hang out in cafes, even if you're alone.

6. Take care of your mental health

Being alone doesn't mean neglecting yourself. If you're feeling down or tired, give yourself time—

Try meditation or reading a book.
Eat healthy food.
Seek help from counseling or a therapist if necessary.

7. Stay positive—this challenge will one day become your strength.

The problem that seems big today, may make you laugh in a few months. Remind yourself that you are just trying to adapt to a new place. Try it step by step, and you will see, one day this city will feel like home.

Daniel, overcoming loneliness is possible, you just have to take the first step. Be patient, build new habits, make new friends, and embrace life in a new way. You are strong, you can do it!

8. Give yourself time, but don't stay cooped up at home.

Many people think that it's easy to be alone when they move to a new country. But the more you isolate yourself, the more loneliness will consume you. So even if you don't feel like it, go out, see new places, and have small experiences.

9. Challenge yourself to learn something new.

The biggest advantage of living alone abroad is that you can live your life your own way. Do things you've never tried before—

Learn a new language (take Dutch language classes)
Spend time on hobbies like cooking or photography.
Take an online course to learn a new skill.

10. Celebrate small victories.

Adapting to a new place is a big deal, so celebrate every small accomplishment. Maybe you spoke to a local for the first time, or went to a cafe by yourself for a coffee—these small victories will give you confidence.

11. Remind yourself, this is a new chapter for you.

Tell yourself every day, "I am not alone, I am in a new experience." Over time, this city will become normal to you. One day, you might find yourself helping another newcomer!

Daniel, be patient, keep trying—even though this path is difficult, eventually you will get used to your new life.

Best wishes,
Askly Help

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Problem: I started a new life abroad, but I can't overcome the loneliness and stress.