Loneliness within a relationship
🧩 Problems and Solutions: Loneliness in Relationships
Name: Daniel Harvey
-
Occupation: Software Engineer
-
Country and city: Manchester, United Kingdom
Daniel's problem:
I'm Daniel. I'm 34. I've been working as a software engineer for about 10 years. I'm in a 7-year relationship. My partner is good, honest, and responsible. However, I feel lonely.
It may sound strange, but we live together, eat together, sleep together — but my mind feels lonely. When I share something deep, it feels like he doesn't understand, or doesn't try to understand. And when I talk about it, he makes everything seem so simple, as if my feelings are exaggerated.
I know he's not a bad person. But I feel lonely even when I'm with him. Now I'm wondering, am I the right person to continue this relationship? Or have I harbored the wrong idea about love?
🕊️ Solution from Askly Help:
Being alone even when we are together - this feeling is what often oppresses us the most.
Daniel,
your letter touched me because these are the questions that move people deeply—and they don't have easy answers.
Your feelings are very real. Feeling lonely even within a relationship is very common, but at the same time, it is much more painful.
🔍 The silent distance within a relationship
Love is not just about being together—love is about understanding, listening, and trying to enter each other's world. When you say, "He's a good person," that's true. But being a good person and being a good partner are not the same.
Many times our partners have not learned to value our suffering, or do not know how to be sensitive to it.
It's not their fault—it can be learned.
🌱 Think about what you want.
Ask yourself—what do you want from this relationship? Are you looking for just a companion, or a true partner—one who will listen with an open mind and understand even the unspoken?
Sometimes, we become so used to the appearance of a relationship that we take the emptiness inside for granted.
But small daily loneliness eventually becomes a huge hardship.
🗣️ Speak, but in the language of the heart.
If you want to save the relationship, talk openly and sincerely. Don't complain—share your experiences. Say, "I feel lonely sometimes, even when I'm with you."
This kind of conversation deepens relationships—if both people are willing to listen.
🕯️ You are not alone.
Daniel, you are not alone in this experience. There is a lot of loneliness in many relationships, but people don't talk about it. The fact that you have realized it is your greatest strength.
If you ever decide to walk away from a relationship, that's not weakness. It's self-respect. And if you stay in the relationship, that's not weakness—it's courage.
🌼 Last words:
Love isn't about sitting next to each other—love is about looking deeply into each other's eyes, touching each other's hearts. You seek this touch, and you deserve it.
We can hear the silent cry that rings within your heart. You are not alone.
The language of love has to be taught—and the fact that you want to teach it is proof that your love is alive.
Stay well,
— Askly Help
🌿❤️