When the shadow of loneliness covers a relationship

Problems and Solutions: When the Shadow of Loneliness Overshadows a Relationship

• Name: Jason Rivers

• Occupation: School teacher

• Address: Brighton, England

Problem:

I'm Jason. I'm 44. I teach English at a high school in Brighton, England. My life may seem normal from the outside—students like me, colleagues respect me, I live alone in a flat, read books, and cook.

But there is a kind of deep loneliness at work within me, which I cannot share with anyone.

I truly loved someone in my life—a man named Mark. The relationship broke up 7 years ago. Now I don't have the courage to build a relationship with anyone else. I feel like I'll lose again. I'll break up again.

Friends have also slowly drifted away. Friday evenings mean sitting quietly on the couch. No one calls. No one needs me.

I am losing myself in this loneliness of mine.

I just want to know—is this how the rest of my life will go? Silently?

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Askly Help's advice:

It's not loneliness, but the ability to love as a human being that makes you special.

Jason,

Your words are so sincere, so full of pain that reading each line made me feel like I was writing this letter to myself. Let me first tell you, you are not alone.

Loneliness sometimes seems bigger than reality.

The source of your pain is not just the sadness of losing a relationship—it's the emptiness you feel inside yourself after losing that relationship. When love goes, it takes not just a person, but a habit, a shelter, a "home."

Love comes back—but sometimes in a different form.

The way you feel about your ex shows that you know how to truly love. The love of such a person does not disappear, it only changes. A new face, a new story—that could happen at some point in the future.

But before that, you have to embrace yourself a little. You have to stand by your pain. Because if you're not your own best friend, how will anyone else truly know you?

Sometimes you have to find a relationship, not wait - reach out.

Life often covers us with a blanket of boredom. But when you know what you're missing—that's where you can start again, right?

Just think small—

• Join a book club one day a week.

• Or sign up for a new cooking workshop.

• Or join an online LGBTQ+ support group.

Someone new will come—but you have to keep the door open for them.

Last words: You are not lost, you are waiting to find yourself again.

Jason,
as humans we break down sometimes. But our brokenness is what really shows how alive we are. The way you understand your own feelings is rare.

This is not the end of life—it is just a break.
The next chapter after this break will bring you light again. Just have faith.

You are worthy of love—this is not a fantasy, but absolutely real.

Love you all,
—Askly Help  🌿🕊️