A heart tired of the distance of relationships
🧩 Problems and Solutions: Hearts Tired of Distance in Relationships
First person:
Name: Mark Jenkins
Occupation: High School Teacher
Country and city: Bristol, United Kingdom
Name: Mark Jenkins
Occupation: High School Teacher
Country and city: Bristol, United Kingdom
📩 Mark's message:
I'm Mark. I'm 35. I teach English at a school in Bristol. I've been in a relationship with Emily for six years. I opened up to her.
Over the past few months, I've noticed that there's been a growing distance between us. Our conversations aren't as lively as they used to be, and instead of spending time together on holidays, we're doing things differently.
I love him, but it's like there's no place for me in him anymore. How can I explain that I don't want to be like a shadow next to him anymore?
I'm tired. But I'm also afraid of losing. I'm becoming alone in this dilemma.
I'm Mark. I'm 35. I teach English at a school in Bristol. I've been in a relationship with Emily for six years. I opened up to her.
Over the past few months, I've noticed that there's been a growing distance between us. Our conversations aren't as lively as they used to be, and instead of spending time together on holidays, we're doing things differently.
I love him, but it's like there's no place for me in him anymore. How can I explain that I don't want to be like a shadow next to him anymore?
I'm tired. But I'm also afraid of losing. I'm becoming alone in this dilemma.
✍️ Blog in response to Askly Help:
When love wants to go away
Mark,
reading your words made me feel like I was sitting by a still river—silently, grieving the loss of something profound.
It's a familiar feeling to feel lonely even within a relationship. But it doesn't always mean the end of the relationship—rather, sometimes it's a call: "To meet again within each other."
🔹 Silent signals of relationships
In love, 'moving forward' doesn't mean adapting to each other, but rather discovering each other anew. You're going through a time now when small distances are piling up and becoming mountains.
But before blaming, we need to listen to what's inside.
Has there been any change in his life?
Is he struggling with something that you can't see?
Maybe he feels as helpless as you do?
Many times we both feel the same thing, but neither of us can open up to the other.
🔹 Confrontation does not mean separation, but rather giving the relationship a shake-up.
You should talk to him calmly one afternoon or evening. Not in the language of complaints, but in the language of sharing experiences.
Say:
"I understand that there has been some distance between us. I am very worried about this. Because I don't want to lose you, and I can't hide the pain inside me."
If you speak in this language, even if there is a small window in the wall of the relationship, it will open.
🔹 Even if you don't get anything from the relationship, you are still priceless.
Mark,
if someone's heart can't be yours despite your love, it's not your failure. Relationships aren't just about getting along, it's about respecting each other while loving each other — if someone can no longer give that respect, then letting go is a matter of respect.
You are a teacher, you light up life with words. Show light to the darkness of your own heart too—slowly, but with courage.
🎯 Final words:
You are not alone, Mark. This dilemma—loving but also hurting—is one that many of us get lost in.
But the truth is - the deeper the love, the more necessary the courage.
Don't lose yourself. Hold on to the truth, no matter how hard it is. Because if he really wants you—he will come back. And if he doesn't, you will still find yourself.
Love is not just a matter of two people, the ability to love yourself is also a huge power.
Stay well.
— Askly Help