I’m David from Berlin. Despite having a stable career in tech, I constantly feel emotionally drained and socially disconnected. My problem isn’t about money or career growth—it’s about loneliness, emotional emptiness, and the silent pressure of modern life.
📝 David Müller
Name: David Müller
Age: 32
Profession: Software Engineer
Country: Germany
City: Berlin
My Problem
Hello,
My name is David, I’m 32 years old, and I work as a software engineer in Berlin. On the surface, my life looks perfect. I earn well, live in a modern apartment, and I can afford everything I need. But deep inside, I feel empty and disconnected.
I moved to Berlin six years ago for my career. At first, the excitement of a new city kept me going. I was busy with coding projects, learning new tools, and building a reputation at work. But as time passed, the loneliness grew stronger. Most of my colleagues are polite but distant. Everyone is busy, and no one has time for real conversations.
I thought joining gyms, attending tech meetups, and even trying dating apps would help me connect with people. But instead, I ended up feeling more isolated. Social media makes it worse. When I scroll through Instagram, I see friends from my hometown smiling, traveling, or starting families. Meanwhile, I sit alone in my apartment, coding late at night, wondering if this is all life has to offer.
What troubles me most is the emotional burnout. My days feel like a loop—wake up, work, eat, scroll, sleep. Even on weekends, I don’t feel excited about anything. I tried traveling, hoping a change of scenery would fix things, but when I returned, the same emptiness was waiting for me.
Sometimes, I ask myself: Is this depression? Or is it just the modern world making us more disconnected than ever?
I fear that if I don’t break this cycle, I’ll wake up 10 years from now with regrets, having wasted the most important years of my life in silence.
Germany |
Askly Help’s Solution
David, thank you for sharing your story so honestly. Many people in modern European cities face this exact silent struggle—where life looks successful from the outside but feels empty inside. Let’s break your problem down into steps and find practical ways to rebuild emotional connection and meaning in life.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Guilt
First, understand that feeling lonely despite having a stable career is not weakness. You are not “broken.” In fact, this problem is becoming increasingly common in large cities.
👉 The first step is acceptance: you don’t have to fight your emotions or hide them. Simply acknowledging that you feel disconnected already opens the door to change.
2. Redefine Success Beyond Career
Right now, your identity seems tied too strongly to your work. You earn well, but career alone cannot fill the emotional vacuum. Ask yourself:
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What truly excites me beyond work?
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What did I love doing as a child or teenager?
Maybe it was playing guitar, painting, hiking, or volunteering. Reconnect with that lost part of yourself. Make space for non-work passions that nourish your spirit.
3. Build Real Connections (Slowly, Not on Apps)
Dating apps and superficial meetups often disappoint because they lack depth. Instead, focus on shared-interest communities where authentic friendships grow naturally. For example:
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Join a local book club, art class, or language exchange.
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Volunteer at a food bank, animal shelter, or cultural festival.
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Try group activities like hiking or cycling clubs around Berlin.
When people meet through shared values or hobbies, conversations flow more naturally, and bonds last longer.
4. Digital Detox (Control the Comparison Trap)
Scrolling social media increases loneliness. Remember: people only share their highlights, not their struggles.
👉 Try a digital detox:
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Uninstall Instagram for 30 days.
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Limit social media to 15 minutes per day using apps like Freedom or Forest.
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Replace that time with reading, journaling, or a short walk.
This shift will reduce comparison and make you more present in your real life.
5. Daily Emotional Rituals
Small daily habits can bring back joy and energy:
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Morning sunlight + short walk → boosts dopamine and improves mood.
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Journaling 10 minutes daily → helps release bottled-up thoughts.
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Gratitude practice: Write down 3 small things you’re grateful for every night. Over time, this rewires your brain towards positivity.
6. Professional Support If Needed
If loneliness and emptiness continue, don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist. In Germany, health insurance often covers counseling. Therapy is not a sign of weakness—it’s like going to the gym, but for your mind.
7. Action Plan (Your Next 30 Days)
Here’s a simple step-by-step routine:
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Week 1: Digital detox + daily walk + journaling.
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Week 2: Attend one offline community event (language exchange, book club).
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Week 3: Start one hobby you loved in childhood (music, art, etc.).
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Week 4: Schedule a therapy consultation or deeper self-reflection.
By the end of these 30 days, you will feel noticeable change in energy, mood, and sense of connection.
Final Words
David, you are not alone. Millions silently fight the same battle every day. But by taking small, consistent actions, you can rewrite your life story. You deserve more than just “surviving.” You deserve a life filled with connection, meaning, and joy.
Remember this: Real happiness doesn’t come from money or career—it comes from the relationships you nurture and the passions you allow yourself to live.
Stay strong, stay open, and start with just one step today.