Problem: I can't bear the burden of loneliness.
Problem: I can't bear the burden of loneliness.
Name: Daniel Thompson
Occupation: Freelance Graphic Designer
Country: Canada
City: Toronto
I'm Daniel, 34 years old. I live alone in Toronto. I've been a bit of an introvert since I was a kid, so I haven't been able to make many friends. I was in a relationship a few years ago, but for various reasons it didn't last. Since then, my life has been pretty lonely.
Because I'm freelancing, I don't have any office colleagues to hang out with or talk to in between work. I spend my days in front of my laptop, creating designs. Sometimes it feels like I'm just working and working, but there's no real connection in my life.
The holidays are the hardest. When everyone is hanging out with friends, I'm looking out the window, or sitting alone in a cafe drinking coffee. I feel the loneliest at night when I'm sleeping—it feels like there's no one in the world waiting for me. I know people can live with loneliness, but I can't anymore. Is there a way to get rid of this feeling?
Solution: From loneliness to connection
By Askly Help
Dear Daniel,
Reading your words felt like receiving a letter from a friend. Your loneliness is deep, but believe me, you are not alone. Countless people around the world are going through the same feelings. We have all dealt with the shock of loneliness at some point in our lives.
The feeling of loneliness is actually a signal from our brain—just as hunger reminds us to eat, loneliness tells us that we need connection. Now the question is, how do we make that connection?
1. Find the real world, not the digital world
You're freelancing, which means you're less likely to have social interactions in your professional life. But have you ever worked in a coffee shop? Or a co-working space? Try to change your workspace every now and then. Just being around people has a positive effect on your mind.
2. Take small steps, big changes will come.
We often think that making new friends means building deeper relationships. But no, connections are made in small moments. Giving a sincere smile to the barrister at the café next door, chatting for a minute with the library staff—that's the first step. Make it a habit to have a new conversation with someone every day, but don't feel pressured.
3. Find a community, find people like yourself
Toronto has a wide variety of community events—book clubs for book lovers, photography groups, wilderness trekking teams, and even an organization called "solo travelers"! Find something that interests you. Check out Meetup.com or Facebook groups to see if there's something you're interested in.
4. Get involved in volunteer work
Sometimes, when we help others, we see our own problems in a new light. Try volunteering at a charity. Maybe it will bring new friends, new meaning to your life.
5. Show yourself some kindness.
You said you feel the most lonely at night when you're sleeping. That's very natural. But train your brain to be a little kinder to yourself during those times. Keep a journal, practice gratitude—write down three things every day that make you happy. Even if it's small, it'll do.
6. Don't hesitate to seek professional help.
Talking to a mental health professional is not a sign of weakness, but a courageous step. If you feel like your loneliness is turning into deep depression, talk to a therapist.
Daniel, loneliness is not permanent. It is a state that can be changed. Right now you may feel like you are floating in a void, but little by little, life will change. Maybe you will have coffee with someone new next holiday, maybe you will look back on this post and smile a year from now.
You are not alone. The next chapter of your story will be beautiful—you just have to move forward a little.
Be well.
— Askly Help