Loneliness and emptiness in relationships
Problem and Solution: Loneliness and Relationship Emptiness
First person:
- Name: Alex Carter
- Occupation: Software Engineer
- Country and city: Sydney, Australia
Problem:
I'm Alex, a 36-year-old software engineer. My life may seem pretty organized from the outside—good job, quiet apartment, everything. But every day when I come home from the office, the house feels freezing.
There is no one to call as a friend to ask, "How was your day?" And a love relationship? I tried a lot, but in the end, only loneliness came back.
My family lives in another city, they are also busy. Sometimes I feel like I was born to work in life, and relationships or love are not on my radar.
How can I get rid of this loneliness? Will no real relationship ever come into my life?
Askly Help's advice:
Finding yourself in a crowd of loneliness
Dear Alex,
your experience is heartbreaking. This loneliness is not just yours—it is a silent reality of modern urban life. Being alone is not just about not having people around, but also about not having anyone to share your feelings with, which is the most painful thing. But the fact that you have been able to open up about it is a testament to your courage.
1. Loneliness doesn't mean you're unworthy of love.
Many people think, "I don't have anyone in my life, so I must be doing something wrong." But no. Love is not just about being with someone, it's a feeling that comes with time—when you're ready, and when you have the strength to truly understand someone.
2. Make space for new relationships
Connecting with people takes time, patience, and breaking down your own walls. Have you joined a new group? A local community activity, a book club, or even volunteer work? These are places where you can find someone who is looking for connection just like you.
3. Find your inner friend.
Do you spend time with yourself every day? Not just work, but do things that bring you joy. Painting, cooking, music, walking—these small pleasures are what create a spiritual connection with yourself.
4. Love yourself before loving someone else.
Sometimes we want someone so much that we forget to love ourselves. But there is so much within you that is amazing. Remind yourself every day—"I am enough," "I am worthy," "I am worthy of love."
5. You are a person outside of your professional life.
Work is very important in life, but work is not everything. Don't let yourself become just a 'profession'. Set aside at least 30 minutes every day just for yourself—where you can do nothing, just spend time with yourself.
6. If necessary, take someone with you.
Sometimes talking to someone, counseling, or therapy can also help. Mental health is not a weakness—it's an expression of self-care.
Last words
Alex,
this chapter of your life may feel empty, but it's not permanent. As you learn to understand and love yourself better, relationships will come your way—perhaps right when you're ready.
So, don't lose hope. Take a little courage every day and gently touch life—one day you will see, relationships, friendships, love—all surround you.
There is a place in your heart where one day someone will come and hug you properly.
Stay well.
— Askly Help
If you want more problem-solving, let me know, I'm ready.